#XD30 - Six - This is a Read

"I had to do a clearing in my life of some people whose energy, I realized, was not supportive of who I wanted to be in the world. And I recognized that there are people who are not going to take responsibility for their energy so I now have to take responsibility for the energy that I allow to be brought into my space--life-changing for me, and what I know is, that you cannot continue to move forward in your life to the level and level and level that you need to be if you're surrounded by energy that brings you down. That sucks the life-force from you. So not only are you responsible for the energy that you bring, is what I learned, you're also responsible for the energy that you surround yourself with... And you will never be able to do and be who you're supposed to be in the world as long as you continue to buy into the energy suckers." - Oprah Winfrey


If that wasn't a WORD, Mother O!!

Misery sure loves company, don't it?

There's something to be said for people who just can't leave well enough alone. I now have to double up on posts today because I was forced into a severe panic attack yesterday by someone I thought was a friend. For the last ten years I've trusted them with personal information, shared some of my most intimate thoughts and concerns, even cried to because well, that's what you do when you trust someone completely, right? Yeah, or so I thought. Until they use it all as combative ammunition to throw in your face because they just want to be right about something--even though they're loud and fucking wrong.

Now, I get that I'm depressed, and for someone who doesn't understand the struggle it might be difficult to grasp. There are varying degrees of depression so someone who has a handle on theirs might possess better tools to cope than someone who doesn't, or even a situational depressant who gets into really bad states because of their current circumstances. If you know your own battle, you might be able to identify with any of the states I just mentioned. I definitely don't want to be a trigger or a 'downer' for anyone else. I'm going through it right now, and most of the time, anxiety and depression tell me no one wants to be around me when I'm in such a state anyway, positive vibes only.  I'm always focused on getting better.

Depression is not just a bad day. Depression is not "so and so hurt my feelings." Depression is NOT, "Oh she looks fine. Ain't nothing really wrong with her." (I really just keep coming back to how awful and miserable some people really are.) I definitely don't have to prove or reveal how severe my personal damage is after all these years of abuse to someone who isn't going to empathize anyway. My doctors already know.

"How much empathy do you need?

ALL OF IT, BITCH.



According to Merriam-Webster, empathy is "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also: the capacity for this."

Would it really kill you to have all of it at your fingertips? Didn't think so.

At this point, I'm over the fuck shit. I'm gonna let people stew in their own mess. Just know that I'm on an energy-clearing spree, cuz Mama Oprah told me to, and if anyone tries to fuck with mine, they're cut the fuck off for good. I've lost better 'friends.'

Blocked. Delete. Delete. Delete. Move the fuck on.